Another first

Easter has come and gone. With it has come and gone another first in a list of firsts that we as humans like to note. First Thanksgiving without _________, first Christmas without, first New Year without, now first Easter without ______________. Fill in the blank with the name of your loved one(s).

Easter was a gorgeous day in Pennsylvania. Beautiful like Friday, Nov. 13, 2009 had been. The sun had shone and the spot where Virg’s burial plot was lay ready to accept his remains. A slight breeze stirred and the bird’s sang. A day any farmer, as Virg had been for many years, would have loved. And Easter Sunday was sunny, there was a slight breeze, and the birds sang, and the plot where Virg lay buried had survived the winter and would now be reborn for a new crop of grass. But Virg would not be there to see it . . , ever again. That’s what makes all those firsts so hard for us, isn’t it? Our loved ones will never see it again. We’ll never share a laugh, a glance, a frown, nothing. Meals so lovingly prepared will be eaten without them. Enjoyed without them. And oh, did Virg enjoy holiday meals. He just plain liked to eat period. And he was a big man. A BIG man The last year and a half of his life when he was so limited to the physical things he could do, he loved eating even more. Many of the things he loved were no longer good for the body that was failing him but it did not really matter when it comes down to it. One slice of pizza, piece of fudge, or a cookie would not have changed anything.

We’ve gotten through it then. Another first without him. IT does not feel like something to rejoice in. In face, it does not feel exactly like anything I wish to describe. The chair was empty. And none of us wanted it to be.